My husband has a favorite chair. It is a leather recliner in a ghastly shade of mustard with a round wooden tray attached to the left armrest. It reminds me of a geriatric chair-the type one would expect to find inside a nursing home or next to a hospital bed. My husband enjoys relaxing on his favorite chair after a long day at work, watching the evening news with a cocktail in hand while our cat Buck snoozes peacefully on his lap. For reasons that are very legitimate this chair holds extreme sentimental value to my husband. It is one of his only tangible memories of his beloved younger brother who passed away in 1998.
I first expressed my discontent with the aesthetic aspect of this chair several years ago, well before we were married. I suggested that the chair be moved to a spare bedroom or home office, where it would remain accessible albeit less obtrusively. "It does not compliment the rest of the furnishings," I argued. "The color reminds me of Gulden's spicy brown mustard." My then boyfriend argued his case, claiming that aside from its emotional significance, the chair is incredibly comfortable and a favored spot for relaxing and watching television. Recognizing my defeat, the chair remained in its trusted spot in the center of the living room directly across from the flat screen television.
Lap Eating Trays
With our move to a new home fast approaching I decided to brave the chair topic yet again. With fantasies of a fresh new living room furnished in tasteful colors and attractive contemporary furniture, I suggested that the chair take up residence in the spare bedroom that my husband intends to use as a home office. "It is perfect for an office," I pleaded, admittedly somewhat manipulatively. "Imagine how nice it will be to have the chair in your own space, where you can relax and unwind in private." I silently prayed the scales of justice would tip in my favor after four years of my silent struggle as the chair remained a permanent eyesore in the center of our very small living room.
My husband was able to see beyond my charade. "Our new living room is very large," he replied. "We need the chair to fill the space until we can manage to purchase new furniture." "It is the practical solution", he continued, the wheels of his logical male brain swiftly turning as he engaged in logistical problem solving. I found myself wondering if apes argue about such trivial details or is the pettiness reserved only for us humans. Exasperated, I continued to plead my case. "I have tolerated the chair for years. When do I get to have a say in the matter?" My husband fell silent-not a good sign- then replied in a resigned manner, "Whatever you say dear. You have total control of the decorating". His concession only frustrated me further, as I found myself feeling guilty and I hate feeling guilty. I recalled the wise words of an old friend- in close relationships, it is impossible to win at your partner's expense.
Later that same day I stood in my mother-in-law's kitchen, recounting the conversation in a desperate search for wisdom and guidance. I swore to myself I would never disrespect the martial boundaries by sharing such details with my mother-in-law, yet here I stood, justifying my decision with the rationale that nobody is better equipped to assist me with understanding my husband's behavior than the woman from whose loins he sprung. She listened, and with a lighthearted smile, reminded me that this is the business of marriage. "He was very close with his brother," she stated, then glanced in the direction of an old weathered purple leather recliner chair- the one anomaly in a room filled with soft pastels, earth tones and plenty of crisp, clean white. I have been with my husband long enough to know that the purple leather recliner was his father's favorite chair.
My husband's father passed away in 2003 after putting up a heroic fight against the cancer that eventually overtook him. I vividly remember him at the end of his life, a patriarch in the center of the room surrounded by his children and grandchildren as he relaxed in his purple leather recliner, absorbing the energy and love that flowed around him. I studied my mother in law's face as she glanced in the direction of her departed husband's favorite chair, and something deep inside of me shifted dramatically.
Now, when I see the Gulden's spicy brown recliner chair, instead of feeling resentment I see my husband's face, his brown eyes and his gentle hands stroking our apricot colored cat. I see him on a Saturday afternoon eating peanuts and drinking sweet tea as he screams at the television, engrossed in college football. I see him on a cold winter night, cozy in his beige slippers and flannel pajama bottoms, the orange glow of a roaring fire reflected in his eyes. Then I picture an empty chair, and in my mind's eye I visualize my husband gone from the world, and my life, forever. Now the chair does not seem like such an intrusion anymore. Instead, it symbolizes home, family and comfort. I feel a warm glow inside my heart, and I see the chair in a whole new light. Perhaps this is what marriage is all about. Now, if only I could convince him to put the cap back on the toothpaste tube and stop leaving his boxer shorts on the bathroom floor.
Special Price!!! Table-Mate II Folding Table
Oct 31, 2011 08:06:44
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Table-Mate II Folding Table Feature
- Compact, flat folding table for people living in small spaces
- Ideal for eating, typing, studying, reading, drawing, and much more
- Tabletop slides to the horizontal position for easy, convenient use
- Folds into compact footprint and stores under sofa or in closet
- Assembles in less than 2 minutes (no tools or fasteners required)
Table-Mate II Folding Table Overview
Tablemate II is the perfect portable table to use for anything you would use a table surface for.Table-Mate II Folding Table Specifications
Ideal for people who live in small spaces, the Table-Mate II creates a compact, flat surface for virtually any activity. Use it for eating, typing on a laptop, studying, reading, writing, drawing, playing board games, building models, gardening, or serving hors d'oeuvres. The Table-Mate II assembles easily out of the box, with no tools or fasteners required. More importantly, the table is a breeze to use when fully assembled. Simply slide the table surface to the horizontal position and it's ready for action. When you're finished, you can then fold it back down and store it next to a chair, under a sofa, or in a closet.
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